11 Jan 2014

It seems totally trendy right now to resolve to have no New Year resolutions but instead just commit to living healthier / better / stronger / insert-self-empowering-word-here. Most of the ample free time I spend not updating this blog, I spend surfing the web and based on my vast internet research and that one upworthy video that was floating around on facebook, if you write down your resolutions and share them with others, you have a much greater chance of succeeding. Thus here are my trend-bucking and be forewarned, super first-world and trivial resolutions for 2014:


1. Spend less time searching for my phone. I have to figure out a system for where I put my phone in each room of our house and in the car. Mastering this would free up crazy amounts of time for more first-world resolutions like “workout more” and “spend more time with my kids!” Then again, the trek up and down stairs from room-to-room looking for my phone while carrying the baby and being followed by Anabelle probably covers both those resolutions and if I got rid of that quest, I’d most likely just use the time to read magazines while making my kids nap or have quiet time…


2. Read magazines when they arrive. I get Bon Appѐtit, Better Homes and Gardens and Runners World. I read the Runners World right away and the other two I get about four pages in before getting distracted. Then they sit on the coffee table until the pile’s so high that I do the annual purge of flipping through them, cutting out the recipes I like and recycling the rest. I really like both magazines and actually use them, I’m just super bad about not reading and sorting them right away. Then the pile gets more and more daunting and I end up only sorting it once a year and it takes all the joy out of getting them every month…. And now I’m making it a resolution to read them which kind of make it sound like a job or a task and probably just as actively destroys the joy of them. Great.


3. Quit buying store-bought bread. I’m probably right on the cusp of going over the deep-end about what we eat and where it comes from. I see a little bit more and more of my crazy creep out every trip to the grocery store and this may be a public cry for help. As in right now – help me before my arms grow so strong from kneading all this damn bread that I can actually do a pull up. It started with the whole meat and how it’s produced and where it comes from and “let’s just not eat meat unless we know where it came from” thing and morphed into our fruits and vegetables and whether or not they’re organic and what pesticides were used on the plants we ingest and “We eat a massive amount of mushrooms and 40% of all non-organic mushrooms tested show traces of a pesticide that can cause reproductive issues in 1% of mice. Oh my goodness, my babies are never going to have babies!” thing. We were only buying organic everything except some processed stuff but I’m not eating processed stuff but I’m feeding my husband and children processed stuff and why would I feed my family something I won’t eat and the crazy train has officially docked at the station and I am four loaves in to baking all our own bread and five days in to creating my own starter yeast to avoid all the additives in commercially produced yeast which also puts me four loaves back in to eating bread because I did not just spend 15 minutes kneading that lump and a whole day waiting for it to rise to not at least taste it.


4. Do not start making my own pasta with that pasta maker hidden in the back of the bottom-left kitchen cabinet. Resolution #3 just made me realize that if I’m really going to do this, pasta is probably then next station for my crazy train. Crap. I haven’t eaten pasta in like five months. My thighs are so not going to like this.


5. Work out more. Apparently since I’m going to start eating massive amounts of bread and pasta I’m going to need to greatly increase my mileage so that marathon in the fall will happen; actually start moving the weights I own because Runners World claims the only way to get faster is to increase my upper body strength; put the new clip-ons on my bicycle so that I’ll look like I really know how to ride a bike; and make that triathlon happen by committing to get wet in more than just my bathtub or the spa whirlpool once a week.


I feel like 2014 is already overwhelming. See you in another four months.

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